Postpartum and Recovery

Wow. Postpartum is no joke—especially with your first baby. I don’t think it’s talked about enough. We were so overwhelmed those first few days.

The night we got back into our postpartum room, it was already 11 p.m. We were running on no sleep and hadn’t eaten. We ordered pizza for delivery but could barely touch it after everything we’d just experienced. Labor, a C-section, and now a newborn—it was an out-of-body experience. We’d gone through hours of pain, listened to our baby’s heart rate drop again and again, heard about the cord knot, and then I was cut open with a urinary bladder catheter that they would eventually have to remove. Now we had this tiny human we didn’t yet know how to care for. It was all so much.

Our amazing nurse could sense we were drowning and requested that Carver be taken to the nursery so we could get some sleep. Thank God for that.

That night, I tossed and turned. I was beyond exhausted but couldn’t sleep. The epidural was wearing off, I was incredibly itchy, I was shaking uncontrollably my entire labor and it was even worse on the OR table and every time I rolled onto my side, I braced for a contraction—even though they were over. It was like my body was still in fight mode. I could barely sit up or move. I wasn’t producing milk yet and had just a trickle of colostrum, so we opted for donor milk, which was the best decision for us at the time. I kept pumping to trigger my milk, and thankfully it came in a few days after we got home. But we were so worried about feeding him during that in-between period. Visiting the donor milk bank gave us peace of mind, and we were able to supplement until I was producing enough on my own.

We were so exhausted! At least Colin got his own bed

The second night in the hospital was still hard. We tried to keep Carver with us, but by 3 a.m., we were totally exhausted and asked the nurses to take him again. I felt so guilty and missed him the entire time—but we truly needed the rest. During the day, family came to visit, and we were so eager to show off our little man that we barely slept then either. Thankfully, the pain from the C-section wasn’t too bad thanks to a solid medication schedule, but I still needed help showering and even bending over. Picking up Carver was hard. Once we were home, I managed with just ibuprofen.

This IV was so annoying! It was kept in the entire time and i had marks from the tape for weeks

We were discharged just two days later. We couldn’t wait to get home and settle in as a new family. Leaving the hospital was emotional—I cried while taking videos of our room. Just two days earlier, I’d walked through those doors pregnant, and now we were leaving with our son. The drive back to Davenport felt so long, but Carver handled it like a champ—even though he barely fit in his car seat!

Where all of my pads and adult diapers were!

The same doors i walked in when my water broke

So small! We were terrified to put him in this! The hospital ran a test and kept him in here for 90 minutes since he was so small. That made us feel better

Those first few weeks at home were a blur. I hardly ate, even though I knew I needed to for my recovery and milk supply. We were just trying to survive—figuring out feeding, changing, pumping, and sleeping. I couldn’t talk about my birth experience without crying. The emotions were so intense. And just as we started to get the hang of things, we had his first cleft team appointment. He was only a week old, and they started him on his NAM device—a tiny retainer-like piece that fits into the roof of his mouth. That appointment was overwhelming. It felt like a lot, too soon.

But we are so lucky to have an amazing support system. Our parents came over so we could nap, and that helped immensely. We’re starting to understand our baby better—learning his cries, how to manage his cleft device, and even our dog is adjusting to him.

My postpartum experience might look like some others—or maybe not. I’ll admit, it was hard to fully embrace motherhood that first week. But it’s already getting better. Every day brings more confidence, more joy, and more love. I’m so proud of my scar—it’s a reminder that I carried this beautiful life and have the strength to show for it.

It really does get better. He’s growing so fast, and even the sleepless nights feel sacred. It’s amazing what your body can do running on just a few hours of sleep. We’re soaking in every moment and thanking God every day for our little miracle boy.

I’m excited to begin sharing more about Carver’s cleft lip journey with all of you soon!