The Toughest Chapter Yet: Recovering From Palate Repair

We are officially over two weeks post palate repair, and I can’t even begin to express the relief we feel. This was one of the hardest stretches we’ve gone through since Carver has been here. Honestly, maybe even harder than the newborn stage. The exhaustion, the emotions, the constant worry… it was all consuming.

But our boy did so good.

The surgery itself was intense. Our surgeon told us there were “many graces” during the procedure, but everything went as planned, and no additional steps were needed. She did mention that Carver had a very wide cleft and a narrow palate, which actually helped during the closure. We are so incredibly grateful for her and the care she gave our baby.

The First 24 Hours

That first night was extremely tough.

We had no idea what to expect, how he would wake up, how we would soothe him without a pacifier, how he would eat without a bottle or spoon, or how we would manage his pain. The unknowns felt endless.

He was very sleepy after surgery and, thankfully, never got overly upset right away, which helped calm my anxiety. He slept most of the day and drank a small amount of milk through a syringe. He did manage some water from his cup, but the swelling made it hard for him to swallow or move his tongue.

The only time he let daddy hold him :(

That night, though… it took about four hours to get him settled. We did end up giving morphine, but even then, it was a long, restless night. His snoring from the swelling was so loud, and he would only sleep on me. I couldn’t even set him down to go to the bathroom without him waking up and screaming for me. For those first few days, he only wanted me, and while it was exhausting, I soaked in those moments too.

We were discharged the next day once they confirmed he was having wet diapers and getting at least some fluids.

Our sweet baby

Feeding & Survival Mode

Figuring out how to feed Carver was one of the biggest challenges.

No bottle. No spoon. Nothing past his gum line for three weeks.

The morning after we got home, he drank 3 ounces of breast milk through a syringe… and then threw up for most of the day. Somehow, he went almost 20 hours without pain meds and still handled it like a champ. We called the on call doctors and they said to just make sure he stays hydrated.

The only thing he consistently accepted at first was water from one specific cup. Eventually, we had to dedicate that cup to water only because he started associating anything else with medication and refused it.

We got creative.

He wouldn’t drink my breast milk and still doesn’t unless it’s disguised. We found ways to sneak in nutrition: watering down purées with breast milk, using different cups, squeezing food into his mouth when he would allow it. Slowly but surely, he started eating more. It wasn’t perfect, but it was progress. And in that moment, progress was everything.

B Box cup! His new favorite

The Hardest Part

The arm restraints… those were really tough.

He has to wear them for three weeks to keep his hands out of his mouth, and he hates them. They rub against his face (we ended up putting socks over them to help), and he constantly tries to pull them off.

He found a way to still be able to hold his toys!

But the hardest part?

He couldn’t soothe himself.

No pacifier. No hands. Nothing.

So I became his comfort for every nap and bedtime. I would bounce him for hours, letting him watch dancing fruit just to calm down enough for sleep. For a while, he wouldn’t let Colin take over at all. We slept in a recliner for the first few nights, then slowly transitioned back to the bed.

It was exhausting in every sense of the word, but we got through it and looking back, I loved all of the cuddles and clinginess

Turning a Corner

Around the start of week two, things finally began to improve.

He started eating more. Nights became more manageable. We transitioned him back into his crib, and he began sleeping better. We’re now approaching the three-week mark, when he can finally use a spoon again and be done with the arm restraints.

He loved his tongue! I think he was feeling his new palate!

We have our post-op appointment at four weeks, and we are praying everything continues to heal beautifully.

Looking Back & Moving Forward

This was our last major surgery.

Even typing that feels surreal.

The weight that has been sitting on our shoulders for the past year has finally lifted. The fear, the anxiety, the unknowns.. we’ve walked through all of it. And now, we can finally see the light at the end of a very long tunnel.

Carver continues to amaze us every single day. His strength, his resilience, his growing (and slightly sassy) personality, it all reminds us just how incredible he is.

We’re now planning his first birthday, and it feels so special knowing everything he’s already overcome in his first year of life.

I am so proud of Carver. I’m so proud of Colin. And honestly, I’m proud of myself too. Our family and friends have been there for us this entire journey and we are truly incredibly grateful. 

We did it.

What’s Next

I’ll be putting together a detailed cleft palate recovery journal from each day I documented during this process. My hope is that it can help other moms feel even a little more prepared and a little less alone.